coffinofmyconscience

unwilling

2006-08-01T01:41:00.000+08:00

* to all, this was not intended

F: I'll respond with something random about you.

Eat spearmint! Actually the random thing written on the board on Sook's bday is still there. And the whip cream in the first aid box turned bad.

F: I'll challenge you to try something.

Just be cheerful for a day.

F: I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.

Brown.

F: I'll tell you something I like about you.

Maybe you have something precious too in your bag. WHY ALL OF YOU LEAVE YOUR STUFF HERE?! AND GO OFF TO DUNNO-WHERE. Seriously, I also don't know why I know you in the first place.

F: I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.

The long-hair guy who wore the I hate tourist tee in orientation. I think.

F: I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.

Giraffe.

F: I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.

Why do you keep your hair so long?

My Task: You must post this on yours.

2006-02-02T01:15:00.000+08:00

somethings in your lives,
no matter how hard you work,
or buckets of tears from your cries...
no matter the effort...

there will never be enough time
till you decide on your own there is...
there will never be a warning sign...
things just happen not like you wished.

by then, by now...
there is this grey cloud...
by the name of Mr. Cow.
he aims to pain, shadow and shroud.

maybe this is the opportunity for me to get,
a wish i wanted since forever...
a rainy little world,all cold and wet
a muted mouth, a better antenna...

why didn't i got this for christmas?
tee shirts and chocolates wasn't what i wanted you to buy...
i did wish for a jingly mask...
and of cause, the day to fly...

what did i do to get what, where and why i am now?
am i standing beneath the edge of a cloud?
or was it because of Mr. moo moo grey Cow?
or was i borned a victim of the crowd?

tip of a toothpick
balancing ninety degree...
all that is making me wobble is in me - the sick in me
i wish i could buy my way out,buy with a fee...

canned butterfly - only you know...
to do what i want, when i want
when will i every get a chance to be a crow?
i yearn a chance...just one?Please.

2005-12-21T01:31:00.000+08:00

adopt your own virtual pet!

2005-08-27T02:16:00.000+08:00

Lately,

it seems to be a trend...
the trend you would ask?

love...

oh well...i wanna fall in love all over again
do stupid stuff with stupid time...

seeming worthless and unaimed targets to achieve...

sighs...

you know as i know...
we both miss that...

sadly...

there is no space...

there is no time....

there is...

"Do you care if I
dont know what to say
Will you sleep tonight
or will you think of me
Will I shake this off,
pretend its all okay
That theres someone out there
who feels just like me
There is"

for u noe wad....

2005-08-27T02:14:00.000+08:00

On and off and on again,
a cycle that regulates, results hate.
Only a heart, one of stone would be able to take this weight.
How can two apart, stay awfully sane?
A chain so fused but yet so frail...

The chains of two hearts shatter mercilessly at the exposure to friendship,
for one does not see and the other does not hear.
Having their senses tuned down to just so mere.
Treasuring their nights of standing tall for when the sun seeps,
they'd have to shadow amongst the masts of the sails...

As you lay down to rest, prayers fill the night sky.
Little voices flooding the plain like little angels in rhapsody
and as the cotton candied clouds come coolly,
a hand come pulls this blanket of lies.
Til' morning in the depths of this unfound cavern...

For now only did the sun rise and seemly would not set,
twenty six o eight o five - only some see the drift.
Cause it's the first time for her, her first whiff.
To unwrap would most probably end in eyes draped wet,
but it's always a surprise to see something out from the oven...

hey people...this is serious

2005-07-03T17:53:00.000+08:00

this year,

finally 8 world leaders are going to do something

something that can change the face of history

something big

something to rid poverty in Africa

but....

not unless you tell them to...

at this year's G8 summit

8 of the world's top leaders are going to discuss several issues,

cancelling debts of all of Africa

giving better and more aid to Africa

fairer trade laws

however...this will only happen if YOU made a difference

they have the power to change history...

you have the power to make them...

so visit:

www.live8live.com

they have given their names...have you?

...a mouth ought to be sewn up...

2005-06-28T09:47:00.000+08:00

is it wrong?

is it wrong to feel so tired you cant get up of bed?

is it wrong to ask "are you okay?" if you care?

is it wrong for someone to be jealous yet when their other half gets jealous it's right?

is it wrong to bother people with my problems when they have problems on their own all the time?

is it wrong to talk things out- settle stuff?

is it wrong to give up and let things be?

is it wrong to stay over at a friend's place to do work?

is it wrong if i wanted to be me?

is i t wrong to hide and not show?

is it wrong to want to do nice things for people even though you know it's gonna be more scoldings?

is it wrong to keep quiet after quarrelling with a person?

is it wrong to be sad?

is it wrong for the flowers, chocolates and the diamonds to work anymore?

is it wrong to assume and not be crtical?

is it wrong if i judged a person without being judged back?

is it wrong for anyone to compile a list of wrong-doings?

is it wrong to say things wrong?

is it wrong for me to be here?

is it EVER STILL wrong?

A weekend wasted in pain.

2005-06-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

i dunno what has gone into mi today. i feeling very down. and i juz feel like crying. whole day i juz feeling realli bad. gastric coming back to kill mi. felt horrible the whole afternoon.
tot of meetin u up but u r too bz coz of ur school work. didnt go n bind my engineering math notes today. Too uncomfortable to do so. the pain is kinda near my heart. felt horrible. slpt the whole afternoon away. kinda wasted the weekend staying at home rotting away. zZz... haiz... ate pineapple after dinner n gastric was back. hurts alot but ate gastric pills now better le... haiz.. lazy to type in proper english or even in capz... haven get any felt tip pen or markers. need them tml for drawing in a module at the end of the day. dun have any of them i guess my friends doesnt have any too... gonna spend over 10 + on something i dun use often. waste my money... haiz.. shit... zZz... the module also useless de ask us to be more creative... waste my time. Y cant i feel better? happier? i juz feel realli down n fucked up wif myself for dunno what reason... haiz..

BLues blues go away come again another day?

Lost contact

2005-05-30T21:29:00.000+08:00

my phone have been very quiet lately...

coz u lost ur phone...

i guess this is when one will treasure SMSing on the phone?

receiving msges for love one?

Now all i do is to wait till you to get home so i can hear ur voice.

haiz...

sometimes it seems tt we dont have anything to say even after u lost ur phone. haiz..

new school, new environment for mi.

our school are at the 2 ends of this little red dot or soon to be red region?

timetable doesnt match, being a yr 2 for u means additional work, effort and concentration. It also means less time being together lesser communications. Its our 23rd month this coming saturday. U are going for some event in school and i'm getting shoes for the start of this new semester. Another month not celebrated on the day itself or near the date or mayb forgotten.

Haiz...

Now all i can do is to concentrate on my studies. I guess meeting up lesser is something good. You can have more time for yourself and i can have more time for my own.

Studying

hope u can do well in this semester and all the coming semesters...

anyway, take care. Dear

updates alas...

2005-05-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

hey people...its been awhile since i felt down...im sorry i haven updated this in ages...oh well...

tomorrow's skool day yet again...the past week's been an array of colours...

DOTC, camp re,fresh

anyway i would always remember the times...

DAY -05: 40 degrees celcius

DAY -04: MESS food

DAY -03: abandoned

DAY -01: long weekend

DAY 01: eh-wu-sat-eh

DAY 02: Alex passes on baton

DAY 03: lonely tears

DAY 04: no-phone-day

DAY 05: chin chow through gap in lift door

the weeks' been tiring...but a lot more experience...seen faces beneath masks...thanks Kenneth, Justin, Jing Hui, Astoria, Jia Wei, Stanley, Ren Xiang, Alex Ching, Abel, Jason, Nelson, Jacqueline, Beatrice, Johnathan DANA...and the freshies...you guys really mean a lot to my crazy life...bad or great...you guys know yourselves...i love you guys..thank you all so very much...

D-form here

2005-04-22T11:17:00.000+08:00

hey dear P-low,

i dunno y u feel so upset last night(21/04/2005). i hope u are feeling better hope u'll see our blog this few days... anyway today ur mummy at home so mayb its good if u stay at home n accompany her... dear, i hope u have nth hiding from mi coz i ask u last night n u seem so troubled.. hey i'm willing to lend u my special "D-form"(R) brand ear for u..

loads of love, your gal d-form

jus wonderful

2005-04-10T17:13:00.000+08:00

...the happysad anniversary event...

2005-04-04T18:47:00.000+08:00

today's the 4th of April...not a special day for many...

yeah to US....

anyway i wanna thank someone...you know who if you know...

making life...more difficult...but more challenging...i love that...SMUG...

here's something to think about...

?nwod sraet niar hcihw ssalg fo sdrahs eht nees reve uoy evaH
?raet gnillaf hcae neewteb ni spag eht ,secaps ehT
...snoillim eht nopu tliug gnitsac ylwols...raet nopu raeT
...selcric yllis ni dnuora ecnad dluow rehto ti daerd emoS
...ecaf no tniap ,htrae eht gnissik ,stnahc gnituohs dna gnigniS

?doG ot dedrawrof eb dluohs reyarp laiceps a spahreP
?desruc eb dluphs doG noiger rehtona ni spahrep rO
...sehsals dna sehsag ,wolfeerf gnirewoprevO
...edalb wen dnarb a ekil semoh hguorht gnicils ,dnuob-htraE
...seno tsol rof gniyrc ,sretaw yddum ni elpoep eht gniltteS

?retsam a osla dna tnavres dootsrednusim tsom A
?eerga ,tcepser yldrah elpoep hcihw eno tub ,ebyaM
...dne eht ta dlog fo topa ,rof yoj rof pmuj ot wobniar A
...semurtnet sworht ti llit kees dna edih gniyalp yltneconni ,srewop eniviD
...semuserp enoyna sa wollahs sa t'nsi elddup eht esuaC

goddivaaaaaaaaa....

2005-03-30T15:04:00.000+08:00

fate and destiny

2005-03-30T11:12:00.000+08:00

I know I am stepping on the tails of many people just by making such an entry, but because of something that happened, I have a strong wanting for writing such an entry

firstly...

des·ti·ny ( P ) Pronunciation Key (dst-n)n. pl. des·ti·nies

The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot.
A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control: “Marriage and hanging go by destiny” (Robert Burton).
The power or agency thought to predetermine events: Destiny brought them together.

and...

fate ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ft)n.

The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.
The inevitable events predestined by this force.
A final result or consequence; an outcome.
Unfavorable destiny; doom.
Fates Greek & Roman Mythology. The three goddesses, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, who control human destiny. Used with the.

then...

Many people are confused by both their meanings, taking it for granted that things are the identical when they have that little knowledge of things is one of the world's most common defence mechanisms. They tend to jump to conclusions when hearing people talk about these things. Devising links to link up topics which they already have little knowledge makes the case even more complex instead. All that happens all in their minds. Snap, just like that, they come up with their own little thesis, their own little theory. Meaning, it differs from what others think, but that is just what they want, convince others that their own theories are correct and theirs a big mistake. I believe that God, if there was one to call our own, would most probably give us some kind of choice right? So that cancels out my view on Mr. Destiny.

Prior to that, I can not accept the fact that a fortune teller, sitting on a old school wooden stool (Pun not intended), burning joss sticks and drinking tea from a red and green phoenix porcelain mug, spreading out poker cards and collecting daily allowances from aunties and the elderly, can actually tell you what Life has installed for you in a short span of half an hour? The idea is just not feasible at all? May be God has indeed given us a choice, a choice to believe such an unbelievable idea or not.

I rather take my chances with Fate. It gives me a choice straight away. Fate makes one decide what he or she wants to be rather than just telling straight into your face, that No, you will die when you are 38 years old. With Fate, you can supposingly chance your life through what you do. That, you are denied in Destiny.
Somehow I feel that the world IS hypocritical, everyone is. But when i mention it here, most likely a thought of "Hey aren't you yourself one too to believe that the world is hypocritical?" flows through one's mind? That's really up to you to decide already. In some ways, people choose to rather ignore that thought, the thought of actually believing that they are hypocritical people and choose to deny that.

Religion is a key to higher living. Fate is a choice. Destiny is a key given to you to a choice.

YOU DECIDE FOR YOURSELF

Because I don't see the need of strongly convincing, I'm just giving my point of view, nothing more and nothing less
and I do not need you to change your point of view too, reader...

...OH WELL

...an entree ought to be edited...

2005-03-25T19:33:00.000+08:00

1 A tap on the shoulders, brings forth a heart pounding dragon, screaming of being vertically challenged

2 A drugged minute hand upon a clock face, always racing a head start of two positions away

3 Jack and Sally; almost into everything in life, a couple so idolized

4 Changing a perception of trust is like pulling a car from an electromagnet, you will never succeed unless you give up

5 Oranges, papayas & bananas, which is the odd one out? Similarly, cherries, apples & kiwis, which is the odd one out?

-------- UNDER CONSTRUCTION --------

BEAUTIFUL BLUBBERING BLOGS!

2005-03-25T19:18:00.000+08:00

a beautiful blog...a work of art...

http://www.rit.edu/~jhb4598/jblog/

maybe not so to many...

but it's true to me.....

ENJOY!

...a cracked emotion...

2005-03-25T16:52:00.000+08:00

...words...

a cracked shell gazes upon hopes...
hope that fills a little girl's heart...

crammy yellow yolks...
souls reaching out; yelling...

honey fed chick, pain - acute
our warmth, only aggravate...

unknowingly deep inside this crust...
it's empty...a horror filled crypt...

praying for a home...
after a thunderstorm hailed...

tears only subside inside...
it doubting mom's intellect...

but there's no one you can critic...
says the kid from old country...

a lesson taught, only to be heeded...
there will be a next time, honest...

we weeped an ocean so true indeed...
for a little bird's size just so immense...

~D-form's entry~

25th of march 2005 - Good Friday

Everything which happened today should be GOOD but it didn't go the way today should be...

The life of a little newborn honey bird was taken away... by D-form n P-low... who didn't know they shouldn't feed the bird wid honey YET as it's MUCH too young...

After knowing that the little birdie had died, D-form felt really upset n bad as guilt fill she up. She feel really horrible and all she could do is hope that the bird in the egg will hatch and grow well and strong...

This is a little Prayer for the little birdie :
I hope you will rest in peace. i'm truely sorry that i cause your death. May you look over your unborn sibling and let it grow well and strong. i realli hope i can see u fly in the sky but now i cant i'm sorry... REST IN PEACE...

TESTING out over here

2005-03-23T16:57:00.000+08:00

erm.. hi i guess.. i'm truely sorry.. its always wat i can say to u..haiz.. so here goes.. todae is the offical start of OUR blog... NOT urS, NOT miNE..OURS..

~DITTO~

2005-03-23T16:22:00.000+08:00

i don't really like blogging you know, reader?

that why i don't silly...

but sometimes i do...when there isn't anyone i can turn to

(which is SELDOM in most cases)

for instance, this rare case...

how ironic the world is...

i·ro·ny P Pronunciation Key (r-n, r-)
n. pl. i·ro·nies

1. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
2. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.
3. A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect. See Synonyms at wit¹.
1. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: “Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated” (Richard Kain).
2. An occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity. See Usage Note at ironic.
Dramatic irony.
Socratic irony.

i give you an example...

23th March 2005: invite for birthday party

...PERIOD...

you see? that's how ironic it is...

i've so much to complain but i can't explain..

SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT?

2005-01-10T01:11:00.000+08:00

Hmm...seems so so weird to be here...RESTATING the fact i hate blogs and this isnt the real me...actually this is just a test lar...so even if im the only one reading it...so be it...hmfp...bother so much for what lar...haiz..people today...so weird...say my hellos...got scolded...oh well...

oh well...now i guess i should not be needing this anymore...

wait...hmm..sentimental value of a day....

so no i jus keep this blog...hahahah....